newborns + the holidays
Nothing can make the holidays more magical like the promise of a newborn! However, it can also be a recipe for stress if you’re not prepared for all that comes with it. Before you pack the diaper bag or plan a party, take this list into consideration.
Remember that YOU are the expert when it comes to you and your baby. Do activities you’re comfortable with and if you find you’ve reached your limit, acknowledge it. Tell any partypoopers that you are putting your health first and you’ll be glad to spend time with them at a later date. Take care of yourself, my friend.
It’s okay to say NO. Trust me, I know how difficult it is to say “no” to visitors and holiday gatherings, especially when they’re family you may only see once or twice a year. It’s time to let go of your expectations, simplify, and be open to new ideas. If you’re recovering from a painful tear or a Cesarean birth, tell your relatives and friends you’d be happy to join them virtually. Let them know you’d love to see them, but you’re not up for traveling and would rather they just stop by with some snacks for a short visit.
Sleep. Your newborn needs 14-17 hours of sleep per day for optimal brain growth and physical development. If you are able to work around your baby’s sleep schedule, perfect! You can also give babywearing a try. Being snuggled next to your heart can help lull your baby to sleep. If your baby is asleep in a sling, it’s also easier to say “no” to any relatives who want to hold them.
Mastitis. Holiday mastitis is a thing and I can tell you firsthand that it sucks. The holidays are busy and full of traveling. It can be tempting to stretch the time between nursing sessions or skip one altogether. Don’t do it. Frequently milk removal keeps your supply up and makes you less susceptible to infection caused by plugged ducts or engorgement. If you find a very tender red patch of skin on your breast and you start to feel flu-like symptoms, those are indicators you may have an infection. Contact your physician if you have any concerns and KEEP NURSING - the continual removal of milk will help flush out the infection.
Passing your baby around. If your gut instinct is to keep your baby close to you and say “no” to all the outstretched hands, then say “NO!” With flu season in full swing (not to mention COVID and RSV), there are a lot of germs flying around. Your baby’s immune system won’t mature until they’re between 2-3 months old, which is also when they can begin a vaccination regimen, if that’s what you choose. Request that people wash their hands before they hold your baby, or that they keep their distance if they’ve been feeling ill.
The mountain of gifts. You will be fighting this for many years. Every relative is going to ask (or not) what gifts they can buy your baby. As a newborn, your baby won’t be able to interact with many toys yet. Ask relatives to contribute to your baby’s savings account instead. Other good ideas are high-contrast books, teethers, or step-stools for when they’re a little older.
Overdressing your baby. It can be challenging to keep your newborn warm without overheating them. Babies aren’t able to regulate their own body temperature at first and they aren’t able to communicate when they’re too hot. When the outside temperature starts to dip, resist the urge to put lots of layers on your baby. Start with keeping your baby’s head and feet covered, snuggled in a comfy onesie. If they seem cold, you can add another layer but check regularly to make sure they’re not too hot.
Coats in the car seat. While of course you want your baby bundled up if you are outside in the cold, it is very important to take their bulky coat off before strapping them into their car seat. Large coats keep car seat straps from fitting like they’re supposed to and a child can slip out if you slam the breaks. You can get car seat covers that will keep your baby nice and warm in the car or stroller, or just tuck a blanket around them AFTER you buckle them in.
Unsolicited advice. If you do end up going to a family or friend gathering around the holidays, odds are at some point you’ll get advice you didn’t ask for and lots of opinions you don’t need. Whether it’s telling you what position your baby should sleep in, that you’re spoiling your baby by holding them so much, or that nursing in public isn’t classy, make sure to stand your ground. Feel free to just smile and nod, say thank you, or no thank you. This is YOUR baby after all. Keep this affirmation from Maha Al-Musa in mind - “I know what I am doing as I parent.”
