infant sleep habits + bedsharing
One of the most asked questions of new parents is, “How is your baby sleeping?” or “Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?” Newsflash - everyone wakes up at night. Even if you don’t remember waking, you probably did. Adult sleep cycles are typically 90-120 minutes. Infant sleep cycles are 50-60 minutes. It is perfectly normal and often necessary for babies to wake up so often and there are a variety of reasons why this is so.
Small stomachs. A newborn’s stomach is the size of a cherry for the first few days, with a 1-2 teaspoon capacity. That naturally means they will take frequent small meals. Waking at night to feed is normal and may continue until after your baby’s first birthday. Night feedings are also important for maintaining milk supply.
Low on melatonin. Melatonin excretion (which is needed for the sleep-wake cycle) doesn’t start in infants until they are at least 8-11 weeks old. You can help your infant get their circadian rhythm on track by exposing them to light - especially sunlight - during the day and minimizing their exposure to light - especially blue light - at nighttime.
Deep sleep can be risky. When babies are in deep or “slow wave” sleep, they can suddenly stop breathing. A baby’s physiological response is to then take an extra deep breath or sigh which causes them to start moving around and wake up. Pushing your baby into longer, deeper before they’re ready can inhibit that response. This is one reason why it isn’t recommended for babies to sleep on their stomachs (prone position).
“Okay, now that I know that night wakings are normal for babies, how am I supposed to get any sleep?” you may ask. Let’s talk about the oft taboo subject of bedsharing. It will happen. At some point in almost every parent’s life, their child ends up in bed next to them. Rather than shame and hide these moments, it will be more productive to talk about how to bedshare safely using what La Leche League calls the “Safe Sleep Seven.”
Non-smoking home. All occupants of your home should be non-smokers.
Parents are sober and unimpaired. If you shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery, you shouldn’t be bedsharing.
Baby is breast or chestfed. Your baby is more likely to keep their head near your chest (their food supply) and away from pillows if they are exclusively breast or chestfed.
Baby doesn’t have pre-existing risk factors. Consult with your care providers (and your intuition) before bedsharing with a baby born prematurely or with a neurological disorder.
Baby is lying on their back. This helps keep your baby’s airways unobstructed.
Baby is lightly dressed. Since they are in bed with you, they will naturally be warmer than if they were in a crib by themselves.
Both parents and baby are on a safe surface. Firm-ish mattress, no extra pillows or heavy comforters. Tie back long hair so it doesn’t get tangled.
Families who bedshare tend to get more sleep overall and have more breast or chestfeeding success. Most breast or chestfeeding adults will automatically assume what is called the “cuddle curl” position, which helps prevent the parents from rolling over. Many families will also adopt a floor bed (essentially just the mattress on the floor) to minimize the risks of falling off the bed.
Demonstrating the “cuddle curl” position.
If your partner is uncomfortable with bedsharing but you - the breast or chestfeeding parent - wants to try it, you have a few options. You and your partner sleep in separate beds until your baby is 4-5 months old. If you’d rather not (or aren’t able to) do that, consider a DockATot or Snuggle Me until your baby is a little older.
For more on infant sleep and bedsharing, follow the links below.
The Science of Healthy Baby Sleep
Bedsharing and Breastfeeding: The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine Protocol #6, Revision 2019
*The information in this post is not intended as medical advice. As with any lifestyle changes, please consult with your healthcare provider (and your intuition) about what is right for you and your family.
